Sweet potato and feta cheese 🤌🤌

I have a Brazilian husband we’ve been going 8 years strong

I stay paying $2.75 to get on a bus that is never on time

🐭🙏🫦

I need that fancy gut health matcha the stay at home girlfriends be drinking every morning

Went to a male gynecologist for the first time and he told me we were going to do a sonogram bc I was probably pregnant when I really just needed to fart

I wish I could drink a beer rn

Sometimes I say excuse me to the pigeons on the sidewalk

Going through Venmo transaction feed and guessing what people I went to hs with are doing with their lives

Kali Uchis and princess Nokia the same breed of annoying to me.

Depop bitches are DEVIOUSSS

Sometimes I wake up and feel like a millennial

Is it ok to eat tuna salad alone?

I’m like Latino Justin Bieber.

She’s like the female hobo Johnson

I blame bad bunny for Kendall Jenners tequila

I can’t stop listing to Thom Yorke 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Quit that job

I love telling ppl I’m talking to at party that I’ll brb and never come back.

I just want orthopedic sneakers