Trying to watch TV with a migraine...would you please please do me a favour (literally all channels) and reduce the advert time by about a quarter? Its just too much! This is why I watch Netflix at home -.-'

Being trolled by my phone - 7° and frost? really? its like 25° here...

Has anyone got a walking stick or crutches to lend me? Half marathon has completely crippled me T.T

Drink moonshine cocktails and dress up like a cowboy/girl at London's wild west BYOB bar 🤠 Grab ticket for Moonshine Saloon here 👉 bit.ly/2l6fbsl

What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

Woah that was loud! #thunder #london

London spots doing cheese and wine hamper deliveries? (heck, go UK wide if you like) I wanna hear from youuuu. DesignMyNight #AskTwitter

Nama-stay... at home 🏠 You can join a 70s-themed disco yoga class online for free this Thursday bit.ly/2VaO3Kq

Stop making your basic standards for how you should be treated optional. They aren’t an added extra. They are fundamental. And no one who violates them consistently should be allowed to remain a guest within the sacred realm that is YOU.

IG feels like one long advert for what life could be like if you pay for Premium Life these days. You could be making and baking all the most wonderful food, could be running a cheeky 22k just for fun, could be drawing or doing yoga...only thing I can find the energy for is zelda

The President is tested every day. Every single person he comes into contact with is also tested. If anyone tests positive, they are immediately quarantined and their contacts are tested. See? He DOES understand how to stop the virus. He just doesn't give a shit about YOU.

How to more cases than anybody in the world

I wonder if Michelin star chefs are cooking stunning meals at home for lunch

Leaving the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic because he wants to spread propaganda while his people die instead of practicing science. This is some crazy dictator shit.

Congrats Max!!

Buddy cop movie of the year

Watching the most recent season of #SouthPark...no wait, its #CNN news. Oh boy the states is a messed up country! You'd think y'all are being forced to wear a chicken costume. It's just a mask people...

I think this is true for all human relationships. Partners, kids, parents, friends... if we assume we know the conclusion we may not recognise, or maybe even stop to enjoy, what's actually unfolding. Such a wonderful philosopher Matthew Hussey, keep doing what you do!

Oh my god... how?!?

IMPORTANT TO OUTSIDE DRINKERS & DINERS THIS APRIL Maybe plans changed, maybe you're unwell, maybe it's not the right day. Please cancel your booking, don't just ignore that you have one. Tables are CRUCIAL to hospitality right now & someone will take it for you #nomorenoshows