once bought a bottle of Benadryl thinking it was melatonin. Took like 3 every night and Had spider nightmares for 2 straight months. Never once did I think something was wrong. Was just like man it’s hell getting old isn’t it

my brain for exactly 15 mins after i have 4 drinks on a rooftop patio on a summer night

i know exactly how to curl my hands to make a fucked up sound when running them through those dyson airblade hand dryers. still can’t whistle though

bereal is great for finding out who’s ignoring your texts on purpose

back at waunafest and nothing has changed

getting sunburnt while driving my car like a fucking moron

taylor swift is lana del rey for girls whose fathers like them

fuck

need a bitch to stomp on my face like the elevator scene from Drive (2011)

if u didn’t grow up looking out the window seeing this then don’t pretend to understand Midwest emo

Wow I had no idea they made blue Cybertrucks, that’s pretty awesome

my body randomly reminding me it’s keeping the score at 10am on a tuesday

watching you dildo brain cock suckers play w/ AI shit is like watching a dog paw at one of those puzzle boxes that you put treats inside of

These suggested replies go hard as fuck