Mike Pence looks like he'd fart in an elevator then spend the rest of the day trying to convince everyone it was the pregnant lady from HR.

Apparently the only thing I hate more than carrying change is giving change to a homeless dude.

🎶🎶 You probably shouldn't be Jewiiiiiiish At TrumpSingles.com 🎶🎶

And the award for the most gangsterest delivery boy goes to...

New year...NEW YOU!

You ever see a person who's lost a ton of weight, but they still have a giant fat head and you're like, 'What was the point?'

Wearing a 'Drunk Lives Matter' t-shirt is a good way to tell the world you're going to be divorced someday.

Brea Improv w/ Jonny Loquasto and Candice Thompson NEXT WEEK!! Hit me up for guest list!!

'Oh, Hi! I'm Gatey the Gate. Do you have a minute to talk about the Globalist plot to use chemtrails to...Hey, where you going?!?!?

Breitbart's Chad Gnarkson calls The Handmaiden's Tale, "a light hearted romp...the feel-good show of the Summer!"

foxnews.com/entertainment/… Dy-No-One Gives a Shit

Fun fact: The guy that took over for Joey Greco on Cheaters is Clark Gable's grandson. Fun conjecture: He has a severe learning disability.

facebook.com/Pongfinity/vid… NEVER has so much time been spent on something that will get you so little pussy.

Do Game of Thrones and Ballers occur in the same universe? This fan theory will BLOW YOUR MIND! Click the dick pills add below to read more!

A bidet is just a water fountain you drink with your asshole.

#HR4HR now can the Dodgers win please?

Elevator pitch for Planet of the Cats: Cats get super smart and one cat’s like, ‘Let’s take over!’ and the rest of the cats are like, ‘Nah...we don’t give a shit’ and then you see that the first cat is already asleep. #andyserkis

Huffington Post: "Michael Jackson Followed Me For 8 Square Blocks And Wouldn't Take 'No' For An Answer."

I want ‘Guy who buys Penthouse at the airport’ level confidence. #2018goals

Ryan O’Flanagan Are you joking my a$$? Get your nasty boy gear right here amazon.com/s/ref=w_bl_sl_…