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let people celebrate silly little internet holidays. you don't have to bash may the 4th day just to be contrarian

congratulations class of 2025, please don’t let this be the last time you read a book

your mom gave birth to you, the least you can do is call her on the phone today. do NOT just send that nice lady a text

unfortunately this is still highly relevant

we're offloading memories to our camera rolls by taking photos of everything instead of experiencing life. put the phone down and just exist beeflings steak-umm bless

most underrated loss as an adult is that you stop getting summer vacation. the economy doesn’t stop, apparently

you can just invent foods btw. who knows what heck this is but it has beef

just as you can’t appreciate summer without the winter, you can’t appreciate a philly without first appreciating the frozen meat it once was

imagine explaining 2025 DOGE to 2013 doge

greenland is a freezer isle

*eats beef tallow once*

imagine if everyone working in public service cared about their job this much

america has fumbled a lot of things but we nailed it when when we invented basketball

100% true story: the former head of DOGE sold me this table and now i eat beef sheets on it

anxiety from seeing 10 pieces of heavy news within 5 minutes is a 21st century problem our brains are not yet equipped to handle

how am i supposed to pull myself up by my bootstraps they cost 200 dollars now

i like my protein straight no chaser

the most radical thing you can do in 2025 is give a damn about something

it’s time to solve the male loneliness epidemic thing the old fashion way: