Time holds no meaning in the shower

what does google docs want from me anymore

Every gift guide for men is like "A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey."

Doorbie Waving

The goths and the Syrians are mobilizing at the same time? Someone better warn the Romans...

“You there, boy, tell me, what day is it today?” “Cor blimey Mr. Scrooge, it’s White Woman Wednesday!”

Nintendo of Europe's official 1998 German guide for Yoshi's Story depicts White Yoshi as being highly religious. He also states that his constant words of admonition of the other Yoshis' sinful behavior caused them to abandon him.

Haiiii! Jimmy Cawtew, who wose fwom humbwe peanut fawmew to pwesident and Nobew Peace Pwize winnew, dies aged 100 ( ͡° ᴥ ͡°) — The Independent

This is how I find out.

Couple that ellipsis their married last name instead of hyphen. Smith… Jones

Actually I should make an alt account for it

ConnorEatsPants introduces Adrian Dittman (Elon Musk) to The Dare on Fortnite Friday

yoshimi red French revolutionary history: and on 15 Ventôse, year III, which is December 24th, 1795 in the Gregorian calendar, the news arrived in Russia, on January 8, 1796 in the Julian calendar

[driving] my astigmatism shows me the light of angels in every street lamp and headlight. *sees your red brake lights ahead of me* but the Devil remains nearby, *starts to speed up* I am the Sword of God

This is how elder millenials talk about Brooklyn in the Obama administration

Came across injured Hawk today. Really relate to this bird

He could be heiling anything. Maybe it was Michelle Obama. Did you ever think of that?