"cake" x.com/billclinton/st…

#WhenNoOneIsLooking I touch penises with my reflection in the mirror.

#BeComfortingIn4Words You aren't the father.

Casablankey #ClassicFilmsForKids

The Philadelphia Eagles of Death Metal #RuinAFootballTeam #ActuallyMakesThemBetter

Brain-eating amoeba found in Louisiana water supply. Hope the poor thing doesn't starve to death.

RT if you think Ed Helms needs to stop singing in every movie and show he's in.

Ladies - Not trying to brag but I can recite entire episodes of the simpsons by memory. hmu

If Jeb Bush's campaign were a presidency, it would be George W. Bush's.

Rum & Choke #ToughenUpADrink

Flex on the Beach #ToughenUpADrink

Strong Island Iced Tea #ToughenUpADrink

7-Uppercut #ToughenUpADrink

Jacked Daniels #ToughenUpADrink

siiiiick x.com/NakatomiTim/st…

Ben Afloat #CelebBoatNames

Or-Land-Ho! Jones (𝕭𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔 𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘) #CelebBoatNames

This is what ur mom's browser history looks like.

Shirley Temple Pilots #Healthy90sBands

@AllThingsFlynn no one gets that anymore, do they? I think the new barbed wire tattoo is a dia de los muertes skull