The original Wealdstone raider. Go on Psycho - let’s ‘av it!

Ahoyhoyy awohayhayy, wir sind das mächtige England, or some shit like that. Ok, we made an effort, now can you lot pls obey the empire & speak the king’s jabble. Ay oui, dos grande steins danke shun. Line ‘em up, line ‘em up. Whack him low cups and sniffs. Strange local customs.

Listen up: Our boy Gareth oozes elegance & class. Bloke's full to the brim of sartorial seduction. Well-versed cultural differences; contains intelligence on factual, perceptual & emotional levels. Spiritual intuition unrivalled in football. & HE'LL PLAY A FUCKING 4-2-3-1!!!