The Super Soaker was invented in 1989 by engineer Lonnie Johnson. The prototype combined PVC pipe, acrylic glass, and an empty plastic soda bottle.......

In High School my math teacher took -10 points off my test for prank calling her house once.

80% of the people you think are cool and mysterious that always seem to vanish just have IBS.

I know it might seem hard but it's very possible to look up at the sky and shut the fuck up at the same time. Try it.

Cracks me up every time a trustastafarian beats around the bush telling you what they do for a living.

and the first thing my new roommate sees is me rapping in my underwear DAMMIT.

The following phrase is buried with my south pole, mecca, enyce and fubu outfits from 1999-2002 ; saying 1 instead of goodbye.

"You've prob seen me at the vons, taco bell, in and out, fatburger, rite aid or corner store"- My level of local celebrity.

Confession: My friend and I send each other pictures of rich white people from insta or facebook on African Safaris and clown em.

Shout out to my neighbor for stopping me from throwing a cinder block through my car window. Also a frying pan doesn't break windows.

Uh oh client just heard my rendition of Doobie Brothers- What a fool believes.

High school cafeteria lunch smell. Go ahead and remember that one you welcome.

There are two levels to hell. Level 1 is a live techno set. Level 2 is an 8 band garage rock bill. Choose wisely.

We need more fat, sloppy, ugly, and disheveled people in music. Getting really sick and tired of the fashion show.

"My name is David Tassy and I played in a band that got a 4.5 on Pitchfork" -People in circle start patting my back and tear up-

Welp I can fucking die now met Davey Havok :)

Haha when bars have parking lots

Jesus christ, the string arrangements and melodies on 70s disco and funk tracks holyshit.