The way I love eating bread & butter, I would have thrived as a medieval peasant

Wait no, just remembered they didn’t have asthma inhalers back then, GGs

Remind me to never post about not liking weed ever again, weed addicts online are insufferable.

You look lonely. I can fix that ✨

Is there some kind of cringe competition I can submit this to? I think it’s one of my finest

Happy Frog Friday, to all those who celebrate.

Going to a bar alone to drink: people judge Going to a bar with your dog to drink: instantly the coolest person there, everyone wants to talk to you

Always forget I’m very tattooed until it’s summer, and suddenly I’m getting stared at aggressively by pensioners everywhere I go.

Never felt more beautiful than I have in my 30s

This is the kind of dedication the rest of you need to have.

Do you think I should have sized down on the bikini top?

Going to the dog park with your dog is the closest you’ll ever feel to being a Pokémon trainer

I can see now.

Would you still love me if in was a worm (serious)

Everything is going wrong and I’m going to scream.

Forgot this account exists again lol

Beans in the kitchen.

I may be acquiring another animal….