I am such a tolerant person and truly love the support i get on all platforms. But today some people on here are pushing my tolerance. Just be decent human beings. For some of you it’s all about arguing rather than listening and appreciating others opinions. Carry on..

After spending two days resting and not feeling well. I’m off to work to see the progress of the LegaSea. Still feeling yucky but it’s always nice to see my animals and the progress.

Needing some uplifting comments from you guys today. It’s been a struggle this past little while. And my moral is falling a little lower than what i like. Just seems like a hard battle to win. But in doing my best to still believe in that miracle. I need it soon!

Lately i haven’t been sure what to post. I hate being all down and make sad posts. I honestly have not been doing really well over the past few weeks. Do you guys want me to tell the truth and share. Or just try to stay positive and post good things?

Thanks for all your feedback. I will use this platform to tell you how I’m doing daily. There will be posts that will not be happy and it might hurt to see what I’m really going through. But it might help others and it will help me to have you all in my life.

The truth is i want to inspire so what you see of me on my vlog is not the entire truth of how I’m feeling. It takes all my energy to film high energy and to not look like I’m struggling. But sadly I’m struggling pretty bad this past month. I’ll try to keep going the best i can

How do i sleep you might ask? Well i fall asleep usually because i have taken pain meds that take the edge off enough to fall asleep. Then i wake up every five minutes in pain and trying to find a position i can sleep for the next five minutes. I repeat this until morning.

Had a rough night last night. Still waiting on this trial which is probably still a couple weeks off. I’m starting to get a little worried about my situation. I honestly feel horrible and I’m having a hard time dealing with this. I need some uplifting words!!

Started listening to the book “conversations with god”. I’ve only listened to about 30 minutes and already I’ve learned a lot and really made me think about my faith. God answers prayer but you have to believe he will answer 100%. I’m probably at 80%. Work to be done.

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Was prescribed a heavier pain med last night. And for the first time i did get some relief and was able to sleep an okay nights sleep. Woke up pretty foggy but it was really good to sleep for the first time in weeks. We will try again tonight and pray it keeps working.

Might have to go to the hospital later? I’ve been having this extreme sharp pain in my upper abdomen. I can’t do anything and when i move the pain is intense. Praying it will pass but it’s been all night and day so far. I’ll keep you all posted.

Still not feeling great but a lot of the pain has subsided. So I’m going to stay home rather then go to the hospital. If things change i promise i will go. I just want to rest here at home where im comfortable. But again ill go if it gets bad again

I want to use this platform to keep you all posted. But it can be exhausting reading your replies. So many internet doctors giving advice they know nothing about. I truly want to share because i know you all care. But please really think about what you’re posting.

In for a biopsy this morning. Also checking on what i think is a blood clot in my leg.

So i have a clot that goes all the way up my leg. They are checking to see if it’s in my lungs yet? Either way they seem to think it’s treatable with blood thinners. Just need to be in the hospital for a bit. Hope i don’t miss Christmas

Going in for surgery to remove the clots. They were just too extensive to leave to blood thinners. Waiting for the doctor to come and then I’m off to hopefully get this behind me.

Yesterday was rough. Lots of pain and just felt super out of it. Feeling a little better this morning. Pain in my leg is reducing a bit and I’m not as cloudy in my head. I get to go home today for the holidays. So that’s great news. This was no joke! Love you guys!

Ever wake up in a pool of blood? Well i did two nights ago after my surgery. My blood was too thin and i felt “wet” just to wake up to this. Took about 2 hours at 1am for them to stop the bleeding.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone. I’m so grateful to be home with the family. My grandsons are coming in a few and are here for a couple days. Remember to be thankful for what you have and embrace the things that matter. You never know when it’s taken all away. Love you guys!