Ever quickly get up to use the washroom and have your leg/foot fall asleep on you but you have to go really bad and end up looking like a pirate running away from their burning ship 🏴‍☠️😖

My second monitor just died 😭 looking into getting another, how do you all feel about curved monitors?

I think my body's self defense function is too high. It has figure out a way to help me with my annoying coworker in the form of hearing loss... not sure if this is a win yet. 🤪

Ever think that an egg and cheese sandwich is like a cow and a chicken getting it on in a wheat field? 🤔

We're all going to die, but are you going to live 🤔

Ok I'm claiming a saying I just came up with, I search and could not find it anywhere else so it's mine!!! You may not want it, but its MINE!! 😝 "Drop an egg then chicken hen" (basically hit me up later, I may or may not own chickens 😅)

When your car heater goes out in winter 🥶

If you want kids, is it for you or them? 🤔

20°F so -6°C .... no heat or hot water... Let's go!!!

Ever been so tired you forget to breath? That even that feels like a chore...

If you are a cop please do NOT ask someone out while you are on the job or follow them to work to do so! While we are at it, if you want to ask someone out in a public just say you are interested and if they are here is YOUR number so you leave it up to them and WALK AWAY!

Realizing I'm at my prime while cooking bacon. As a kid we didn't have much money so when we had bacon we only got 2 slices each. Now as an adult I can have as much as I want. So thinking forward, old me will appreciate being young and having a functioning heart. 🤪🥓

Living life on the edge today... spending it with my phone out of it's case 😯

You're not alone #discorddown

Ever drop the soap in the shower and are hesitant to pick it up cause you feel like some ghost has been waiting for this moment? 😳👻

My madness of hunger and whats around/leftovers.. rice and veggies base, leftover taco shells crumbled up, dino nuggets, bacon, pepperoni, mozzarella, ranch, sriracha hehe I swear I'm not stoned just starving after a 12hr shift