Emily In Paris? More like Emily Insufferable, am I right?

BIRDS BOWL BABY 🦅

pop....six...squish...

I made an art museum for my hamster …!?

You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder, for money?

I think making the big river green is probably bad for everyone’s health

Explaining to my cat that “out of an abundance of caution” she’s not allowed to have tap water bc mommy doesn’t trust the government.

it feels so good to not have an opinion on everything you see online i promise

She is stealing catalytic converters

Forget TikTok we need to ban Canva

Bring back the oxygen bars from the boardwalk we need that blueberry flavored air rn

Me nd the girlies marked safe from the Canadian wild fires

LOOK AT THE TINY SALT SQUARE THAT FORMED FROM THE DIY SALINE RINSE I LEFT IN MY FRIDGE. NOTHING WILL EVER BE THIS PERFECT AGAIN.

Dropped my spare car key behind one of my radiators in 2020. Today, September 1st 2023, I retrieved it. Executive dysfunction who? I don’t know her.

Question at Calvacante press conference: "Sir, was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside a trench coat Little Rascals style?" Answer: "No."

Love it. Never clicking on an article again. I don’t want to learn new information. Smooth brain activated.

I love watching baseball and they pan to the fans and someone is doing the weirdest shit you’ve ever seen with a stained towel they’ve had since 1993.