Alright motherfuckers I’m coming out of retirement after I got banned. So give me a warm fucking welcome . -Simon

Looking for a short-term girlfriend -Simon

This aged quite well -Simon

If you’re not horny you’ll realise women are: Selfish Boring Rude Arrogant Expensive Disloyal Mean Literally just stop being horny for 5 seconds and you’ll end up a misogynist.

Nigga of the Day #CTESPN

Found your racist. Barstool Raiders -Simon

World if girls made the first move

I said two weeks ago I would MAYBE bet on Josh Allen again and I decided I am going to tonight. Here’s the parlay for Monday night football: -Simon

Fuck TJ -Simon

Fellas, if your parlay doesn’t hit, just place another one. -Simon

Happy Thanksgiving to all, including to the Radical Left Lunatics who have worked so hard to destroy our Country, but who have miserably failed, and will always fail, because their ideas and policies are so hopelessly bad that the great people of our Nation just gave a landslide

Certified Cracker ✅ @cdejean23

#NewProfilePic

First year using Spotify, anyways here’s my Wrapped.

When’s the last time you think West’s shit talking lived up to the hype? -Simon

Ive never experienced souix city west win a sports game.

The Cracker of the Year Award 🏆 No one more deserving…. Make America Great Again Donald J. Trump 🇺🇸 @FreeSpeechCTO CTESPNNetwork Bark Media

You don’t need Ozempic, you need a treadmill. #CTESPN

Put us on the rankings now mfs #undefeated #fuckeast #weownthemrc -Simon