No cable, no problem instagram.com/p/juw8rWoRAY/

"Roll so hard"

Basic hoes on that Flappy Bird, it's all about that Splashy Fish

Ain't no party like an I'm hungover, probably gonna be stuck at work because of #icepocalypse kind of party

A Barack Obama sandwich-selfie at the The White House, earlier today with Bill Nye @TheScienceGuy

For #lent, I'm giving up my beard 👨 instagram.com/p/lLL7--oRGk/

heres to @jesscultweets kami and Jordan for living ina safe neighborhood!

This #party is so #dope we got #free tattoos!

"Successful businessmen do coke. Only homeless people do acid." Jordan

Limes are $1.50 each #thanksobama

Never trust someone that doesn't like watermelon

@jesscultweets por qué no las dos

@drewamandolia get a Rabbit

My roommates think that if you can see a star, that means it's dead 👽

Every now and again, I try to cast a spell on someone, just to see if I'm magic

Some claim the USA is a Christian nation, compelling me to wonder which assault rifle Jesus would choose: the AR-15 or AK-47.

They should put ice machines next to every water fountain

I think my eyes just got wet from watching a trailer for a movie about Stephen Hawking

There are people judging tonight's protests who will be trampling complete strangers for a slightly cheaper flat screen TV this Friday.

Skip shopping tomorrow & join a #BlackFriday protest in solidarity w/ #WalmartStrikers. Find a protest near you: blackfridayprotests.org