If Biden shoots down the balloon, it will be the first thing he’s ever done to combat inflation.

Like a pregnancy test I need two to three uses before I know for sure anyways. And that’s only if they’re important. So fuck it. Haha

OH my God

Every white old man is like, “I can’t believe ‘If you ain’t talkin money I don’t wanna talk.’ Is such a popular expression. There’s plenty of other things to talk about!” Then watch Pawn Stars all day.

I’m sorry, but I gotta say it: 1) Jersey Mikes 2) Firehouse Subs 3) Jimmy Johns 4) Subway

When traffic slows to under ten mph you should be allowed to start drinking

ON THE STATE OF THE STATE OF THE UNION

reddit.com/r/HumansBeingB…

I hate it when other countries act like they have it as bad as us. Like, you’re at war?! We have girls with penises. Get over yourself.

Crawfish be overrated as hell, I’m sorry.

Guardian angel working overtime- Caught on streetcam 👌

When you see players like Jordan, Miller, Kobe, Bird, Luka, Shaq, you’re like “oh shit, this is about to be a game.” And it strikes fear in your heart that you about to have to put in WORK for the W lol. But when you see LeBron it’s just like, “Pft” and that’s all I’m sayin.#NBA

Me reappearing in people’s lives after inexplicably disappearing for several months…

Man that's SIMPLY INSANE!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

QT yourself as a kid Yes, those overalls still fit me

#NewProfilePic

“In Japan, the idea is that children are the collective responsibility of society to keep safe. It’s a choice that they made. For the life of me I can’t decide why we’ve chosen something different”

If your favorite tea isn’t jasmine then (I’m sorry to break it to ya) you’re fucking up.