First Christmas party done at Google last night. I'm getting far too old for this. Coffee and bacon needed.

Noisy teenagers on the bus to clapham junction. I've identified 'the mum' of the group: 'let's play a game! Who can stay quiet the longest!'

Christopher Maloney: 'you can't put an age on my songs'. Yes, you can. 1986.

Can't tell if there's actually nothing in the tate turbine hall, or if I've just not found it.This guys seen something

Just sent an email to a client saying 'Happy Friday! Hope you have something festive planned for the weekend!'. WTF? What's wrong with me?

Ooh that's a lovely spread #XFactor

Yesssss! £5 in Lidl. Another dream achieved!

Colleague's just proffered echinacea tea for my cold because "It says "Doctor" & "plus" on, so it MUST be good!". She's a huckster's dream.

Just stood out in the cold so long I can't feel my feet. All in the hope I'd see the Spice Girls. I didn't. A new low?

Carol singers at Piccadilly Circus? I'll literally pay you to stop.

Can't believe I'd never Googled 'dog on computer' until now.

Anyone else watching the Tarantino interview on c4 news? Amazing! Hilarious! Krishnan Guru-Murthy

@Gem_Sharpe red wine is the only thing you need to get through January. Fuck the detox: Man. Up.

Anyone else joined vine to make cute, 60 second, gif like videos and realised its just full of porn?!

This man is carrying a #valentines present of champagne and a Veet gift box. Seriously.

Overheard in Soho: 'Look at my fucking red trousers! Just look at my fucking red trousers!'

CLIENT "Hope you had a good Easter break. We're putting the account up for pitch" ME "um... What? Right now?" CLIENT "no... ... April Fool!"

Ask lady to try polenta fries for One Show. 'Chips made from afterbirth? Sounds horrid.' That would be placenta, Madame. These are polenta.