i would tweet this to let you all know i was in a hostage situation

Making my rounds.

Hag girl summer

I hope this email kills us both

Just found out about oropouche, have I got oropouche?

every day i open this app and come across the new worst poem i've ever read

i bet this shit hits so hard if you’re stupid

What’s Mottingham? Is it Nottingham? No

Me trying to think of the name of floor cleaner: ummm…mop juice?

When you rub your feet together to get any bits off before getting into bed

Yes, believe it or not Google, I do want results with the word I typed in them

Good for them ❤️

Googling what film I watched last night

Girl fuck you

“we are women not snowflakes” and yet the idea of a locked toilet cubicle nearby being occupied by a trans person is enough to have you foaming at the mouth, severing friendships & devoting your life to cruelty

I bit through my thumb