I don’t know how to make it any simpler than this

Me leaving the house without breakfast, dehydrated and on 3 hours of sleep.

me ignoring the bad in someone

been lookin everywhere for this

twitter is for people who are the George Costanzas of their friend group

Yes mom, iced coffee IS an adequate breakfast

Angry minivan driver? Scariest type of person

Why is tying your shoe so embarrassing

i know things aren't very fergalicious right now bro but hang in there

at this point fuck it let’s just do jurassic park. who cares

CDC says it’s now okay for healthcare workers to stick forks into electrical outlets

The CDC just announced you don’t actually have to wash your hands, just get the fingies a little wet