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Today is the only day you can retweet this

a good name for a cat would be Mr. Paradise

do you want to smell like Squelching? I have amazing news

I'm sure I'd look amazing up there but I think it's ultimately for the best I've never been crucified

It is perfectly legal to come to this show on Wednesday and watch me do characters. brooklyncc.com/show-schedule/…

a planet in a distant part of the universe where everything happened almost exactly the same as on earth except they eat way more fruit. dinner there is a chicken thigh and like 8 mangos

(to the tune of This Is How We Do It) Judy Gemstone's jetpaaack

I'm really glad I'm not the chosen custodian of an artifact called the Dagger of Ages. I feel like people would probably be willing to do anything for it's power and I don't need to be dealing with all that. I'm busy learning beginner level spanish

Pumpkin is part of Jab

look not everybody is onboard with my idea that you never see toilets in Star Trek because everybody's got butt plugs that instantly transport their waste away but I can tell you for a god damn fact Gene Roddenberry would be

Doctor doctor🎵give me the news🎵I got a bad case of neck fluid/juice

look I'll admit it COULD be the morning gummy hitting but I'm pretty sure this is exactly what it looks like when you are judged by god when you die

there should be a rollercoaster where they hook needles into you and take a little bit of blood out of you and when you get to the end they inject new blood into you

I need one million dollars for my idea of a magazine that's just pictures of really beautiful people in amazing clothes yelling at each other

sometimes in life u decide to get really high at 9 in the morning and watch Another Simple Favor and love it so much you watch it again in japanese and that's how you discover the japanese voice actor for Andrew Rannells does a GREAT job sounding like Andrew Rannells

ok without saying The Fabulous Mr. Surgery, what's your favorite Orson Rutgers movie

🎵what the world, needs now/is ska, sweet ska/that's the only thing/that there's just too little of🎵

this is what my web page is all about