🍌 trick of the day

This literally just happened “Hmm there’s a sad, average-looking white guy making eye contact with me in the skyway over there” “Oh wait, that’s me in a mirror”

Petition to start spelling it Whensday

If school is supposed to help prepare us for the working world, a simple email with “sorry for the delay” should do the trick for late homework

My dog is keeping secrets from me He’s IllumiNAUGHTY

What we don’t need: a #PrincessBride remake What we need: “Feminists react to Portlandia feminist bookstore sketches” + over 100 stupid video ideas I have

Your friend posting one last deep thought before leaving social media, just to come back a month later

10 minutes into the Lyft ride, can’t think of anything to say, and you dare not breathe because the paralyzing silence is almost welcoming Then you get dropped off and pass out on the sidewalk

A game for Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend: Take a shot every time Conan calls himself a Belgian woman, mentions his disproportionate legs or torso, or says his skin is so white that it’s translucent ROLFing at work while listening to this podcast. So well done! Earwolf Team Coco

My social feeds during quarantine - Friend doing a puzzle - Couple playing board games - Dogs - Food - Outdated ad: “BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY OUT TO OLIVE GARDEN!”

During quarantine, I: ❌ finished a creative project ❌ read a book ❌ finally launched that blog ✅ helped a raccoon dog launder money through a Fyre Festival scenario except people actually move to the deserted island

This Bunny Day crap is so aggressively in my face. Literally. #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch

Custom-designed fruit signs! Organize your farm! MA-9688-8887-5963 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch

Happiest of birthdays to my beautiful bride! Here’s to many more years of laughter, compassion, growing ever closer and being shaped more like Jesus. I love you more than words can describe ♥️ . All 📷: destinmodina instagram.com/p/B-2tI25HrFp/…

He is risen, hallelujah! Happy Easter from our home/place of work/place of worship/jail cell to yours! @ Saint Louis Park, Minnesota instagram.com/p/B-5C7KGHrOW/…

Today we’re introducing one of gaming’s most innovative brands to PCBS, welcome aboard SteelSeries! Before you check out their virtual goods in our newest patch, celebrate with us for a chance to win some of their best gear in real life: theirregularcorporation.com/steelseries-co… #ForGlory