If I get rabies because somebody imagined dog autism I swear to god

reached the mental age where i am liking posts like this and hoping to see more

the AC in hotels be a different kind of cold.

I’m old enough to remember when the Collateral Murder video released by Wikileaks caused a major scandal leading the US to wage lawfare against the group and its founder. Now the Secretary of State just posts equivalent snuff films on Twitter.

All?

I’m absolutely speechless. May our children and our children’s children forgive us.

If you hit the 1.4B powerball, you’ll get taxed. So you’ll be the first billionaire to pay their fair share.

Love the idea of God answering a prayer like, "Okay, but only in Florida."

Florida in the pool next summer: "Measles?" "Polio!" "Measles?" "Polio!"

It's me.

a customer couldn't decide between two desserts and her boyfriend said "just get both, it's your day" and I was like "omg is it your birthday??" and she said "no, he says that every day"

"I'm going to make America healthy!" wheezes heroin addict who drinks blue dye, abuses steroids, tans until his face looks like a catcher's mitt, eats roadkill, and contracted a parasite that ate part of his brain

Anti-intellectualism has been rebranded as patriotism.

I won’t be lectured on Tylenol from the people that drink raw milk.

Is there anything better than this? 😊

The Bill of Rights, 1st Amendment: "No freedom of religion will be tolerated, as the President shall eradicate any opposition, foreign or national, to state religion." I would really like someone who understands the US Constitution to defend this... goofy insanity. Thanks.

I love mayonnaise. But this is 100% accurate description of maga.

Tylenol doesn't "cause" Autism. Vaccines do not "cause" Autism. The rise in Autism is a result of better diagnoses. Stop making it a bogeyman. We need to talk about childhood cancer. About poor children not getting enough calories. About children being shot in schools. 😔