Feels nice to actually stretch my legs!

Gosh I hope a fun and reliable radio host doesn't kidnap me That would be just the worst

Waiting to be kidnapped is more tedious than I expected.

// Agnes [Valentine steps out of thin air, as if there was a door there that Agnes couldn’t see. He looks around briefly before he finds her, and he smiles.] Ms. Montague! Lovely to meet you in person.

Lovely day today! Mild locusts is a favorite of mine.

Love being called 'based' after saying something inherently toxic

Wait shit where did I put my flesh-

I've been killed 12.75 times since I started this job.

...Hm. We have an event coming up in the... Collective. I'm not too excited about it. Family parties always get far too messy for my liking.

Given that I'm a conman, it's funny to think that I'm by far the most morally aware member of the collective.

Am I sad? No, I don't think so. Seems a bit unseemly. But I suppose anything is possible.

Apparently an event is going on? I'm being called back to base for a few hours.

Guys? we’re BACK

Christ. Every time this happens it fucks over every single one of us.

Salutations sir William Shatner ! I am but a messenger of the good word ! Of god ? No ! Of Trans Kirk ! You might think No, but alas you are wrong ! I can go into heavy detail ! I’m delightfully up for either a genuine discussion or what passes for it on Twitter ! But here- (1/2)

I wouldn't have made this account of my own accord, but I'm finally caving. To my students: well fought. The signed petition certainly made its point.

Ms. Raval apparently let the kids into my classroom early so they could surprise me with a "Welcome to the Mindless Masses" party. I will never live this down.

There sure are a lot of people on here named Spencer who look eerily similar to my partner..

What... is happening tonight.

It's always lovely when I wake up on a Monday with a headache.