girls will have 27 ants, 15 weevils and a caterpillar talking about "my life a movie" yeah it is A Bug's Life

Oh my god

Yeah can I get a diet beer and two full pounds of crap

So wait, you’re telling me… that the guy pretending to be a bad person online is also actually a bad person…?

Everything starting going wrong when white dudes stopped drinking keystone light

Bruce Springsteen came in today and says he wants the worlds largest gummy bear so we get it for him and he says how much is it I say it’s 30 dollars and he just stares at me like this and then walks away shaking his head, inflation getting everybody

William dollar

Someone called and left a voicemail asking about my uncle

HOLY SHIT META’s live AI demo FLOPPED💀

13 years of self imposed pain and suffering

this is actually killing me

.Jimmy Fallon it’s just you and me now brother

Shooting myself in the head

sagging at the library

AI tithe on all Americans, so that a handful of billionaires can become trillionaires

yo that’s deadass funny asf

I finally realized why her name has sounded familiar all these years: she has the same name as the Chinese restaurant I always ate at in college.

Maybe the first guy to get mogged by an inanimate object

Numbie bobgorn😭🥺😝😝😝