Wondering if I should go to prison to help run the talent shows.

A folksy coffee house cover of We Didn’t Start The Fire that takes an hour and 45 minutes

*Chained to the radiator in my neighbor's basement* "This isn't the Homeowners Association meeting."

The meerkat habitat isn’t secure. You can reach right in and serve those biteys a subpoena.

If a baby’s name isn’t on the current top twenty list of baby names, then I won’t talk to it. It’s just not worth the risk.

Just ban the use of anyone’s likeness wtf are doing man

Welp, I’ve deleted all my family members. Some of those cousins were kind of a loss, but I am COMMITTED to No Kins Day and these are the sacrifices we have to make. Wait a second, I’m being handed a note.

This is comical. Tech can't touch Hollywood, true Hollywood, true filmmaking. You can do your little "AI Prompting Videos," based wholly on stolen work from real filmmakers. And that's all you'll ever do. You're not now, nor ever will be, "in the business." Tech completely

I’ve finally learned to be grateful. What a gift. It’s making me more powerful than you can possibly imagine. I’m currently concocting a fairly benevolent scheme to rule this provincial township under the iron boot of gratitude.

The worst inhumanities issuing from these people aren't kept hidden in private chats. They are blasted into public with zero fear of consequence.

What does this mean

So far these protests against King Charles have been ineffectual.

Sometimes a fella gets an itch only 510 calories of Fanta grape soda can scratch.

The early bird gets parasitic schistosomiasis.

I will a premium for a coffee shop that employs humans, and also whose coffee does not taste like turpentine.

Romulus Industries Wow, having everything in the cloud sure is neat! We LOVE single points of failure for the ENTIRE WORLD!!!

I always list 911 as my emergency contact. I figure go with the pros.