ILLEGAL APPROACH????? Nottingham Panthers have prepared a complaint to the EIHL for Colton Saucerman’s move to Coventry! Panthers working on potential action as they believe Blaze made illegal approach to the player However… EIHL do not read their email so will not see it!!

BREAKING!!! After Coventry’s announcement video today, Kevin Moore’s Amazon account has been hacked!!!!!! Apparently the hacker has used the account to purchase the one and only 24 Karat Gold Labubu and 25 ladybugs

ENEMIES TO LOVERS???? Ryan Barrow and Loren Ulett have been spotted on the Jumbotron at a Coldplay show, sparking rumours that they are having an affair!!!! This is quite a switch from last season when they were beating the shit out of each other.

FANS STIFFED!!! This morning, Matt Greenfield has used his multiple screens to buy as many playoff final weekend tickets as possible. He did this to ensure that the arena is as empty as possible to emulate the atmosphere of the Utilita, as last year he got performance anxiety.

JUST IN!!! After today’s song release, new Flames signing Tyler Preziuso was spotted at the Panthers merch stall hyperventilating over a Mitch Fossier jersey. “My musical idol! I never thought I’d play my musical idol!” Preziuso blubbered, through tears.

UP TO NO GOOD??? Belfast Giants legend, Andrew Dickson has had his driving license details STOLEN and he now needs to apply for a brand new one! Reports are suggesting that he has now invested in a VPN service.

DONATION DISASTER! After England’s win at the Euros, Coventry’s Zaine Mckenzie attempted to donate to a ‘Women in Sports’ charity but accidentally donated to SaveOurPreciousFish.org instead. At least the thought was there!

FATHER SON TIME?? Jonathan McBean said that he is elated that his son Justin Bean has joined him on the Dundee Stars roster for this season. “It’s a special moment to be able to share the ice with your son. I have watched him grow up and are so proud of the player he’s become.”

BANNED FROM THE LEAGUE?? After a Sheffield Steelers fan created a petition to ban a player from the league due to their questionable health advice, a new petition has been created to ban the Steelers from the league!!!! The new petition so far has 1,000,000,000,000 signatures.

BREAKING!!!! Mitch Heard leaves his fake teeth under the pillow for the tooth fairy.

DOES WHATEVER A DEFENCEMAN CAN???? Glasgow Clan have today announced the signing of Spider-Man as a replacement for the departing Brady Keeper. When asked, Corey Neilson said “Well he was in town and thought we might as well ask if he was interested”

BREAKING!!!!!!! Dallas Ehrhardt has been suspended by DOPS for the first 5 games of the season due to allegedly being the “Manchester Pusher”. See you soon Dallas!

WE’RE BACK!!!! But guess who’s not? Jake Elmer! Elmer will not return to the Glasgow Clan this season. It’s thought that his VPN didn’t work, he panicked and fled the country.

APPLICATION DENIED!!! Alexander Stensson has accidentally applied for a Mastercard instead of a work Visa and now cannot play this season. He can however benefit from discounts and exclusive experiences with his new card.

PARKING DEBACLE?!?! Cardiff Devils have today announced that no cars are allowed within 100 miles of the Vindico Arena! The club stated that after discussions with the council they have taken away all parking due to Nolan Yaremko and Cédric Lacroix scrapping over parking spots.

TRUE CALLING???? We have exclusive reports that Nick Isaccson’s has left the Stars to peruse his dream career of being an Aldi cashier. Each to their own Nick.

DISCOUNT DEDUCTION?!?!? Motorpoint arena have today announced that Panthers season ticket holders will be charged an ADDITIONAL 15% for food! This follows a trend of fans budgets being squeezed as tight as possible all across the league.

PROBLEMATIC WAGE GAP!!!!!! We can exclusively reveal the reason why Otto Nieminen has joined the Dundee Stars. He has been made the leagues first 1 MILLION POUND MAN! In comparison to Craig Garrigan who has not been paid for 8 years but hasn’t noticed yet.

CONFUSED CANADIAN??? Blaze defender Connor Russell has painted a MAPLE LEAF on the roundabout outside his home in Coventry!!

MAJOR MONEY WORRIES?!?? Braehead Arena appears to have gone BANKRUPT as stated in their recent announcement!!!! They are cash less! RIP Clan