Nothing would make me more sure that I was absolutely about to die than seeing a horse calmly arriving at my hospital bed

I’m 3 days into elden ring and lemme check I’m doing this right: you’re meant to kind of wander around, collecting flowers, hiding from the big baddies, yeh? Don’t engage in conflict, don’t go down that hole because there’s a scary goblin and collect flower/kill tortoise only?

Cause it’s made of bricks unlike 99% of structures I. The US. It’s not that deep nor is it ‘C̵̻̈̑͐͠r̵͓̪̰̤̈́͌́̈́͌̍͌͛͊ê̶̟͆̉̒͆͋͠͠͝e̷̢̡̟̥͎̟͙̙̪͍̽͒̈p̷̨̫͓̤̭̯̣̽y̴̨̧̠̟̦͙̅̄͂͑̆̀’

We can’t let them take the gen z kids off TikTok, they’re the only thing that makes my tin heart laugh in these dying days of humanity

Seeing as we’re well into the final days of civil and stable society here in the west, my advice to everybody is just have fun and be yourself

Walsall. Poundland’s listed in Walsall, West Midlands, not Warsaw, the fucking capital of Poland you two-cell pond dwelling organisms

I was wrong. They *are* based in Walsall, though. You pass it when you’re going to Big Tesco

As if ‘denouncing Nazism’ is a hot take in 2025

Shit like this is why I’m not worried about Gen z/the future entirely

I can finally relate to those people who put an old coat on and find a fiver in the pocket cause I found a cheesestring in mine. I do not have kids

The Pocket Treasures have gone downhill fast; today’s finding was a bit of stale cheese pretzel. I haven’t had them since Tuesday I think so that’s nice and peak sluttish behaviour (medieval-18th c definition)

What the fuck kind of delivery window is that? I could probably get a baby quicker. I don’t want one. But I could get one

I think I can safely speak for French folk too when I say that we absolutely do not “envy and admire” the US, even outside of whatever’s happening atm. You’re falling for American Exceptionalism propaganda and the truth is we mostly laugh at and pity the US experiment

Just found this in an album called Photoshop Express. It was my entry for the Twitter logo competition a while back. I wonder if I won a blue Peter badge for it?