I love when people consider me. Idc how small it is.

“Certified lover boy? Certified PEDOPHILE!”

Under 35 and over 35 response to the halftime show

congrats to Abbott Elementary star Jalen Hurts

I hope that every “I can do it myself” type of girl, meets their “I know, but I want to do it for you” guy

Work gym eat work sleep

Twitter should have a “funny mode” where you only see funny posts

What the fuck

everybody needs to get more woke right now

NOT BREAKING NEWS: Democrats' big plan is to do nothing for 4 years. 2028 fundraising emails on the way.

i dont want my fanfiction written by AI i want it written the way god intended: by a deranged freak at 3am with no respect for grammar or human anatomy

Elon Musk has violated court orders, so the next step should be a bench warrant for his arrest.

We actually don’t talk about the price of cocktails enough

bet this hits so hard if you can't do division

The Polyphemus Cyclops scenes in Christopher Nolan’s ‘THE ODYSSEY’ will reportedly be filmed at Nestor’s Cave in Greece with a 6x6m mechanical anthropomorphic puppet built inside the cave. (via: Nolan Archive)

i've lived long enough to see Subway outlive its purpose. five dollar footlongs are like $15 now. you're not going to sell me on giant cookies, pizzas, soups, salad bowls. i'm here for one thing and it's the cheap sub i got in 2008. if you don't have it, then what's the point?