We're going to need a bigger boat. Return to Amity Island and experience Jaws in theaters August 29.

Brits: "There's a pub in my town older than that." Mexico City marks 700 years since its founding by Indigenous people apnews.com/article/mexico…

UK Gov using FF for skills for life and failed to use "It's jobbering time."

I wrote my first horror story for this compilation and now the paperback is coming out. Here you are: You can get 25% off and take the money right out of my pocket.

US VPN's aiding the UK right now.

No-one leaving the cinema after watching ALIEN: "But I wish I knew more about the monster." #alienearthshow Producers: "Hold my beer."

I don't know about the red but I'm sure it's a great white.

After 50 years I finally get to see JAWS again in the cinema (yes, I'm that old). Only have to travel 39 miles to see it.

Noticed watching #JAWS in theatre: Sounds I hadn't heard. Brody's hair changes a lot. Shaw's voice dominates. The extras really make it. You can see the original blue under the Orca. Vaughn's cig is fake until the hospital (great detail). Loved it.

2049. Cruise ships become part of the UN. Trump's hands become president. Hollywood reboots Harold Lloyd. Everyone is called Kim Yo Jong. Retirement is now 10 years after death. Sleep is a subscription service with ads. You have to pay your car to drive it.

High Court rules against outdoor adventure centre at beauty spot tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/25448943.…

I simply loved this little gem by Robert Lautner. Quint’s voice growls and cackles in my mind long after the final page. Brutal and quite honestly brilliant. robert lautner/Mark Keating Well done sir.

Replacing tyres. Can't find lock nut key. Search the car for half an hour, can't find it, even remove the jack and the spare to search, can't find it. Guy charges extra £50 to break. Drive home and go to put jack back. Lock key falls out of jack.

"Oh, I really love 19th century Gothic horror." The book: "The monster was undiscernible. No words could convey its unimaginable visage. It did terrible things that cannot be described."

I don't know how Halloween spoopy this is but for October "Quint" has been chosen for a 99p Kindle Monthly Deal. Bonus: my first horror collab "Of The Flesh" comes out in paperback on the 9th! I should have led with that one because that is Halloween spoopy. Damn. #kindlebooks

How does #JAWS make you feel?

My short story for Of The Flesh is about El Tio, the demon that protects the miners of Potosi, and not only is it a #1 best seller on Amazon but Halloween gets it for only £8.20 which is a bit random but between me and Bridget Collins, Lionel Shriver etc. you got weeks of fear!

My first thought at the Louvre heist. Or Lupin. Either fits my salutations.

"Jewels you say, officer? Stolen? Oh my, how audacious. I do hope you catch the vagabond. My name? Tombs. Sebastian Tombs. I wish you the best of Saintly luck."

Absolute FILTH – failed in London try Hong Kong angusdonaldbooks.com/musings/absolu…