Excuses

Walking anywhere in Edinburgh

Halfway through my kid’s crazy complicated Subway order, the guy asked “Where you going with this sandwich, man?”

I wonder what the neighbours think when they hear me cleaning the house with the Crash Bandicoot soundtrack on full blast Like what does 67yr old Bill think is going on?

The worst part about finishing a good book is that I just won't ever hang out with those guys again, yknow?

At least 80% of Americans live in a vibe desert. They have to drive upwards of 20 minutes to catch a vibe, and many have no idea where their next vibe will come from

I am BEGGING gen z to learn the difference between a product dupe and a product that's packaged in the same style/colours as a similar high end one Beggggging

Idk if its just me but I don't understand why nobody said a single word in any of these interactions ? No "woah oh sorry you scared me" or "oh do you need some help?" Even the ones who did help look like they did so wordlessly

He looks like every character in Only Fools And Horses

hey sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave

This just reminded me of the time my office ordered these special pies from this special pie shop & everyone was so excited & they did this every year & were buzzing for PIE DAY The whole week assured me they'd accommodate me Pies came All meat One veggie option Mushroom & ALE 🙃

They should have called the tenth Saw film Saw Ten Your Seatbelts.

Really sorry to the NHS call centre person who just answered my call with "hello?" only to hear "hel- shit- omg- aHHH... sorry I just dropped my peach"

Shopping for a nice big area rug! I’ve never shopped for rugs before, I’m assuming they’re around $50-$100. Excited to see what I find!

You have to deal with a lot of bizarre questions sometimes as a mixed race couple but never in my life did I expect someone to ask me if my white husband was MY BROTHER????

Me - the fat friend of the group