The TopDog Law radio commercial makes me wanna drive my car into a tree. Will never use them because their adds are so bad. F u guys!!!!!! Idiots #badMarketing

I’m stinking up the house so bad it might lead to divorce. Grok how do I get rid of this stench before the Mrs gets home

What a dumb ass #downwithWu

Me when I can’t get to the Easter sale at my favorite local shop because of the No Kings rally in town

Hello Art Whino Gallery I am devastated to hear that you no longer have your Rosé flight. Please correct this ASAP, or prepare to face the Kramer wrath

This is Jimbo Kramer with his bedside hatchet

“Hand up, Epstein island gets a lot of flack, but I wish I went” - Bob Jordan

Brittany griner is a hoe

damn, love is dead. Thanks Trump

Imagine being on a plane to a vaca and have to get rerouted because of Carrie Ann

FMK Sabrina Carpenter Mikey Cyrus Tate McCrae

Hi Max Dolente. U watch the first quarter? Celts look good.

HOSTILE ACT

Hello NBA please no more playoff games on Prime. They are the worst announcers I’ve ever heard.

“I’m sorry I forget everything now it’s either the menopause or that damn Covid shot”

Patriots scouts: "Who should we target on Day 3 of the draft?" Mike Vrabel at counseling:

“She’s attractive for a ginger”

“Sometimes I feel like Lenny”

Need them all to just stop talking

“I think I was drunk feeling my nipples on the dance floor last night. They were rock hard”