yeah sex is cool but have you ever got pucks in deep

You’re gonna have to call an Uber XL just to fit Marcus Johansson’s penis in the car this dude officially has his swagger back he’s dangling his cheeks off out there seriously looks like it’s too easy for him. This man is in sicko mode it’s really just disgusting

If hockey was a real team sport they’d have the entire team go up on stage at the draft to welcome in the new player. But it’s not. That’s why I stick to the NBA

people hate when you’re successful . proof: jfk was whippin in the coupe flexing and someone had to take his cap off. abe lincoln had the nicest seats in the place and someone put a bullet in his medulla oblongata. they hate when you’re at the top

if you told me a few years ago i'd be on the cover of a GQ Magazine issue i would've said you're crazy. what a day. thanks to everyone who helped make this possible. it hits news stands on new years eve (not this upcoming one but the one after)

i love my girlfriend

sorry i’ve been acting so weird lately my life just hasn’t been as much of a movie as usual

Wish convertible planes were a thing. Would be sick to take the top off on a nice summer day flying to North Korea

when’re they gonna drop a 3rd type of diabetes

Same side of the table alert

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