Dilbert has been dead to me for years. An office I worked in had a comic calendar mounted above the urinal. I would catch some guys mid-piss flipping through anxiously to cheat and see tomorrow’s funny. Keep your pee hands off the calendar!

Lando is short for Landalorian Calrissian. #TheMandalorian

The trailer for Cocaine Cinder Block looks surprisingly good.

I don’t like giving out good ideas for free but what if there was Cocaine Human Centipede?

I accidentally warmed my earbuds by leaving them by my laptop exhaust fan. What an unexpected, cozy treat when I put them on.

It's a few days early but thanks #GranTurismo7 for the birthday gift. I was really hoping for the weinermobile though. #PS5Share

Why didn’t Apple call it iEye?

Who was the first person to look at a raccoon and think “I have a great idea for a hat.”?

I may have found the Stormtrooper who is the WORST shot! #PS5Share, #STARWARSJediFallenOrder #StarWars

This is why it is called Fallen Order. #PS5Share, #STARWARSJediFallenOrder

Can AI be used for good things like making the tv at the bar I’m having dinner at NOT show commercials for constipation relief?

My favorite comic book is the Twitter-Men where Professor Twitter (Charles “CHUCK” Twitter) fights the evil Magnet-OH with his Twitter Jet.

🤷🏼‍♂️

I don’t care what anyone else says. I’m still calling him Lil Nas Twitter.

I signed up for #NightCity yoga today. I mastered downward #DogTown! #Cyberpunk2077 #PhantomLiberty #PS5Share

That’s gotta hurt! #Cyberpunk2077 #PS5Share

Why is every man at the airport wearing sweatpants and using the pockets to carry more keys than a janitor?

I don’t know what all the children shrieking in my neighborhood is about. It sounds like they are playing a game called STAB!

I keep getting Republican Party text messages asking to request a copy of a pocket constitution. I assume it’s a handjob for a vote situation.