What does 'Emacs' stand for? 'Exclusively used by middle aged computer scientists.'

How come there is no obfuscated Perl contest? Because everyone would win.

.NET was named .NET so that it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

Waiter: He's choking! Is anyone a doctor? Programmer: I'm a Vim user.

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.

Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular about who its friends are.

A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, 'I know, I'll solve it with threads!'. has Now problems. two he

My friend's in a band called '1023 Megabytes'... They haven't got a gig yet!

Number of days since I have encountered an array index error: -1.

A programmer crashes a car at the bottom of a hill, a bystander asks what happened, he says "No idea. Let's push it back up and try again".

Why did the QA cross the road? To ruin everyone's day.

Obfuscated Reality Mappers (ORMs) can be useful database tools.

Schrodinger's attitude to web development: If I don't look at it in Internet Explorer then there's a chance it looks fine.

I had a problem so I thought I'd use Java. Now I have a ProblemFactory.

There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who were expecting this joke to be in trinary.

A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.38 root beers. The bartender informs her it's a root beer float. She says 'Make it a double!'

Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.

There are 10 types of people: those who understand hexadecimal and 15 others.