What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Where do you put dirty dishes? In the zinc.

Why do chemists prefer nitrates? Because they're cheaper to day rates.

The name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

How did someone define hydrophobic on their chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

What is the name of the molecule CH2O? Seawater.

What is the dullest element? Bohrium.

I'm more attracted to you than F is attracted to an electron.

You're more special than relativity

Are you made of copper? Cause I Cu in a relationship with me.

Are you an exothermic reaction? Because you spread hotness everywhere

If we were like chromosomes, you'd be my homologous pair.

Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? 'Cause you're making me drool.

Hey, did we just share electrons? Because I'm feeling a covalent bond between us.

If you get with me you'll be (Mg, Fe)7 Si8 O22 (OH)2.

Titrations are a great workout routine, you get buffer.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes daytrogen.

Gold walks into a bar and the bartender says "Au we don't serve your kind here"