I would visit Japan just to order a latte from this cafe.

The key to success is waking up at 5am. I will not be demonstrating this myself, just thought you should know.

I've walked across rooms approximately 47,000 times in my life. But the moment I need to describe someone actually doing it, I find myself googling "Do normal people think about their knees"

I'm going to write something profound as soon as I stop stressing over that embarrassing typo I made back in 2019.

If I had a dollar for every time I've rewritten my opening line, I wouldn't need to finish this book.

"Write what you know" is why we have 69,000 novels about college grads who are paralyzed by self-doubt and can't finish anything they start.

The real problem with writing advice is that having opinions is significantly easier than actually writing. I'm pretty sure the top gurus just rotate between googling "how to write a book" and "am I a genius"

Love it when writing advice is "just write." Oh, damn... never thought of that.

Tired of weak adverbs? Pro tip: If you replace "quickly" with "without any delay," your writing will still be terrible.

I've been refining my unique writing voice for years. It's a unique style I've dubbed "this made sense at 2am."

The most unrealistic part of fantasy novels isn't dragons or prophecies. It's that the hero can afford to take two months to save the world. My boss won't even let me take a half day unless I'm sure the dark lord will be neutralized before lunch.

Historical fiction needs flawed but brilliant leaders. Real history is filled with drunk guys with access to power.

"Show don't tell" is why debut novelists devote entire chapters to making a sandwich. The sandwich was not a metaphor. Nothing happened to the sandwich. The sandwich did not contain clues. Just tell me about the sandwich and get on with the story.

If I legally change my name to "Bestselling Author," does that override Amazon's algorithm?

Writing a book has taught me so much about myself. For instance, I now know how to procrastinate at a level most people don't even know exists.

Time until deadline: 2 weeks: I'm an amazing writer! 1 week: This is garbage 1 day: Okay, this is actually kind of brilliant 1 hour: Definitely garbage

Nothing says "serious writer" like watching Netflix while your manuscript is open in another tab.

My outline is less of a roadmap, and more of a hostage I keep in my desk drawer. I'll check on it occasionally, only to whisper "sorry" before doing the exact opposite of what it says.