Imagine you’re dying of thirst and someone brings you a plate of salt cured salami

i do not pick “good” pokemon. I do not put pokemon on my team based on “nature” or “stats”. i pick “cute” pokemon and if they’re not cute i do not catch them.

Every single sentence that comes out of Alan Carr's mouth makes me keel over. We are so lucky to live in his timeline #CelebrityTraitors

JONATHAN HAS SURVIVED AGAIN

it's on sight david. take care!

actually devastating to consider the final moments of this person’s life, jumping to his death to escape the flames, only for his tragic faceless image to be used 20 years later by a callous racist to fearmonger about a muslim politician. such empty cruelty

job applications are so stupid. "what's your desired salary?" ten billion dollars next question

open.spotify.com/track/6WQsY2YM… literally rip my heart out

You gotta give to up to the girls who stay at the gay guy function for a tight 45 minutes

Uber sends notifications like "hey want to take an Uber right now?" No thanks, buddy. It's more for when I need to go somewhere

CAT BURNS FOR THE TRAITOR ON TRAITOR CRIME LETS GOOOOOO #CelebrityTraitors

Kate Garraway going for death by sundried tomato oh at this point we have to get her to the final #CelebrityTraitors

for non ahs fans this is like rihanna returning to music

we are SO back o m g

Idc what nobody says. People were NOT this weird before COVlD

Oh Alan looks fabulous tonight #TheCelebrityTraitors

Alan for the traitor win!!! #TheCelebrityTraitors

OH MY GOD ALAN MIGHT TAKE IT #TheCelebrityTraitors

NO FUCKING WAAAAAY #CelebrityTraitors