Lotsa friggin presents!

Winter in Chicago is finally here! Sing along: It's beginning to look a lot like I should have stayed in Florida, where it was so damn warm.

In line at the DMV. If I was a proctologist I would put my office right next door. Seems so similar in so many ways.

Merry New Year!!

100 followers...and only 96 are porn and prostitute sites. Rock on Garth!

50 year old man trying to keep up with a 1 year old grandson....... I need alcohol, a massage, and a hot tub, in that order!

I have more people following me than people that went to go see Johnny Depp in Mortdecai! Who da man!

It's a heatwave! 40 degrees in Chicago today! Break out the mini skirt and tube top! At least that's the look I'm going for!

HAP AND LEONARD news finally w air date - tmblr.co/ZJ9b5s1-m1upF Joe Lansdale SundanceTV James Purefoy 🇺🇦🇪🇺

Over 300 followers! What the..... I have more people following me than Jeb Bush has planning to vote for him!

I understand the whole respect the dead thing...and I loved David Bowie...but his last album kinda sucked...like Yoko Ono sucked...like wow!

Hash House A Go Go......just a light breakfast please...lol

Who will be the 400th person to follow me? There won't be any money...but on your death bed..you will receive total consciousness...Sweet!

Time to bring back the old fashioned car seats for youngin's! So much more portable than the new ones!

Closing in on 500 followers....World domination is almost in my grasp...then we get moose and squirrel!

Corned beef and cabbage for lunch and dinner....my fart cloud could be seen for miles!

pin.it/j-V73yr

Happy Farters Day to all the Farters out there. Walk proud ..and remember to bestow a one cheek sneak on those you love!

Remember Farters, no SBD' s...announce your gifts and invite those nearby to enjoy! And again, Happy Farters Day!!

What..... Fathers Day? Happy Fathers Day? Well it's not as much fun...And I guess I can never go back to that Jewel food store again...