Not to worry. I’m sure I can find it. And I’m sure you need some time to get used to your new situation.

⍉ Martin! Martin is this Time Face? I can see my face, I can’t see yours. Did you- Did you get the sea shanties I sent you? Should I send you some more? …I’ll send you some more. In fact, I’ll send this to the group text. Have a good weekend. Do Lonely things.

And you won’t. Not from me. I’m done.

Now. Am I to understand you /don’t/ work here?

⍉ I don’t understand how people can be attracted to women. Women are confusing sometimes. But, you know, men aren’t any better. You know what I’m attracted to? LONELINESS. You can’t be hurt, if you’re alone.

I did not intervene because thankfully, I did /not/ agree to protect your friends from their own idiocy.

⍉ I’m going antiquing.

And how do you think John’s going to react to that explanation, hm? You think he’ll accept it calmly? Come through with a well-considered, rational response? Or would he assume he knows better than you and do something rash?

I still remember seeing the headline, there in black and white: “The Loneliest Building in Britain.”

⍉ Martin! Ooh, block capitals. MARTIN!! I think I figured out group texts. Oh, today’s affirmation is all about embracing the unusual because it will outlast the good. (pause) LOL. Send.

You’re alone, Archivist.

Of course!

(petulantly) No. No! This isn’t fair - do you have any idea what you’ve done? You knew, he must realize -

No, no. Can’t stand computers.

⍉ Eli- (party horn blows) El- (party horn blows) (sighs) Really, Elias?

:D

⍉ (sigh) Elias! We need to get divorced again…

I’m not here, Archivist. No one is. It’s only you.

hello everyone u may be aware already but cheap bots done quick is kil :( meaning no more tmabots thank u all so much for following & bullying elias with me i had an immense amount of fun with this account and i will miss it dearly 💚💚

(this also applies to plukasbot obv ☹️ my poor evil gay robot sons)