That Ben Wah dude must have been pretty damned talented to get a toy named after him

Trump is a worse speaker than the Bose Companion 2

I don't understand the whole "pray to god to stop the #coronavirus thing. Do you think god isn't aware of the outbreak? You think god is "oh shit, sorry, thanks for praying. I was really wrapped up in that Grisham novel and didn't notice."

Just wrote my opener for when I can do another standup set "Remember outside?"

I for one, welcome our new coronavirus overlords... #CoronavirusQuisling #GetOnTheWinningSide

By most accounts, North Korea is now a country with its leader in a vegetative state. Welcome to the club.

Virtual DEFCON is cancelled.

Bill Gates couldn't even get a stable operating system built. Now people think he's gonna take over the world via a complex virus? I can see it now. Bio-patch Tuesdays.

Breaking - Trump firmly opposed to the FISA legislation that he signed. Good to know. At least we are in agreement on this.

Police chiefs from across the country condemning the Minneapolis police officers actions, saying that sort of unprofessional behavior is never allowed when cameras are recording.

Trump: Most of the governors are weak and afraid of the protesters. Also please send more hamberders down here to the bunker. Kthxbye. #bunkerboy #bunkerbitch #magalololol

This is probably the most impactful picture I have ever taken. #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd #LongBeach #LongBeachProtest #BlackLivesMatter

Gotta be honest but SLO was not on my "which city riots next" bingo card #bunkerboy #bunkerbitch

#Bunkerbitch says he was just "inspecting" his hidey hole. Sorry nope. According to Roget's "inspecting" is not a synonym for "cowering"

Worst. Album cover. Ever. #BunkerBoy

On the upside, now that he's in his bunker, he probably can't sink much lower... #BunkerBoy

Where does one go to report a restaurant putting peas into burritos? Is that a criminal complaint or a human rights sort of deal?

After seeing the Twitter mob go after three innocent men re: Bethesda event, doxxing them, their employers, and trying to ruin their lives, I've decided I don't want to be part of this platform anymore. Twitter is a cancer. This is my chemo. Catch you on the other side.

Last joke before I leave Twitter. Lindsay Graham denies he is gay, and says he was only inspecting those male prostitutes.

Back from the dead...sorta I'll be hosting the annual SECTF at HackFest again this year. Come get your shmooze on. Registration open here: hackfest.ca/fr/villages/se/