3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.

Who's a Pirate's Spiritual leader? Siddharrrrrrtha!

What kind of women do pirates prefer? CougARRRs!!!

What does a pirate keep his money in? A JARRRRrrrggh!

Who is a pirate's favorite US President? Jimmy CARRRrrrrrter

Why couldn't the pirate make the gymnastics team? Because he couldn't do a CAAAAAAARRRGGGHT-wheel!

What do pirates write with? Marrrrrrkers!

Pirates are expected to be on the rise during what event? ARRRrrrmageddon!

Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? Right where you left him.

Who helps pirates build their ships? CARRrrrrrpenters!

What is a pirate's favorite movie? ARRRRRRRmageddon!

What is a pirate's favorite board game? MonARRRRpoly!!

Why is there a 'D' in 'bandana'? If there wasn't, us pirates would be wearing bananas!

What is a pirate's favourite monkey? An ARRRRrrrrrr-angutan!

What's a pirates favourite toothpaste? Arrrrm and Hammer!

When is a pirate like a bird? When he's a-robbin'!

What's a pirate's least favourite drink? VinegAAARRRRRR!

What did the fortune teller use to read the pirate's fortune? "Parrot" Cards!

A pirate went to a dermatologist to look at some suspicious moles on his back. The doctor assured him that they’re benign. “Arrrrgh,” said the pirate, “check again because when I counted there be ten!”

Happy New Yeaaaarrrrrrrgh mateys! Especially to jet pack guy , aye.