I hate people in the kitchen at the same time as me

if i took the ACT right now i honestly believe i’d score a 16

A Priest giving social distance blessings with a squirt pistol and what, I'm assuming, is Holy water. 2020 folks.

If your wedding reception isn’t at the KC Hall or Elks are you really from WashMo

If you go to the landing be ready for a high school reunion

It costs $0.00 to chew with your mouth shut

It’s always the blonde bitches that drive white jeeps

Never saw that one comin’.... 🇺🇸🇺🇸

happy national girlfriend day to me my boyfriend is the luckiest man alive

Meat loaf is fucking disgusting. Like who tf was the person that was like “yo y’all come try this loaf of meat i just made, it taste rad with some ketchup” tf outta here.

Found out where they make Miller Lite

be aware 💗

You can’t make this stuff up. Merica. x.com/NLowe90/status…

Merica.

Somebody said that seeing a red bird meant that it was a lost loved one checking in on you. If so, I got homeboys and family members beating the shit out of each other in my backyard rn.

One year ago today gas was $1.29 today is $6.99 but hey no mean tweets.

imagine you’re dyіng and this is whats playing in the background