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Hey Bartleby would you prefer me bashing your head in on your stupid fucking desk. Get back to work idiot

Jungle war

God sends you messages through the outcome of sports games

If it seems too good to be true then it's probably fine.

You tossed the monkey off your back, summersaulting fifteen feet in the air, and directly onto my back.

It was hard for me to be vulnerable when I was younger. I only ever felt secure when I was strolling the battlements of my bulking fastness atop Mount Abominable.

Great leaders used to teach their people the secret of agriculture before transforming into a bird. Nowadays even the boldest statesmen only nibble around the edges.

Jump in since your ass wanna act so dam foolish

I'm doing squats to Stars Of The Lid - The Meditative Lifter

Headache. Fever. Chills. Aching. Can we all admit it's actually fun to get really sick? I'm either going to die or learn something very important.

Canadian wildfire smoke is making the light soft and hazy.

Chinese Supper Club fusion restaurant called Sichuanhaus.

"I saw that" - The Observer

Bill Simmons: The meek have a kind of nobody-believes-in-us vibe. Nobody wants to face them. I like them to inherit the earth.

My precocious son Burton recently discovered the physical act of love in the pages of Tristram Shandy. He's become sullen and withdrawn.

Whenever I have to connect myself through degrees of separation to a historical figure, I always start Paul Soglin -> Fidel Castro. Thank you Mr. Mayor for shaking my hand once and traveling to Cuba in the 1970s to forge an independent foreign policy for Madison, Wisconsin.

I'm a strange and off-putting guy, but at least I never got syphilis or interested in Japan. It could always be worse.

We have a little saying here on Planet Stasis. If you don't like the weather then go someplace else.

Being outside the day the cottonwood tree releases her seeds is worse than a blizzard. It's hot and my nose itches. They're sticking to my sweaty arms.