dabbling in the spotify arts

once i learn to clip up my hair its so over for you guys you don’t even know

the dreaded buttweevil (a fictional terror in my family)

just drove my boss home from hibachi what’s up

i haven’t gotten to breathe into a microphone in months. it’s one of my favorite things to do when i get the chance.

happy jan 6/masc monday everyone #draft

most heinous of my party fouls ever: playing real women vote for trump during a cancer announcement #draft

watching tv with my mom and she asks me “what does frenching mean?” #draft

let my stepsister borrow my car and she absconded with the aux cord. who does that.

would you still love me if i told you how i take my coffee? what i do to it?

the enemy of my enemy lowkey was my friend tonight.

i think weener dogs are so funny i want one so bad

doing a D-day on my cuticles

Im in the laboratory pouring red into some green

it’s come to my attention that i’ve been unwittingly greeting the one british girl at work with “ello ello” or even sometimes “top of the morning to you” all summer.