Sorry guys, Game of Thrones took a LOT longer than I thought. What did I miss?

When I was a kid I wanted to be a barber but that meant four times more schooling than carrying a gun and taking up handicap parking spots.

I mean, he’s not NOT right. link.medium.com/CaASwM8vd7

you can de-escalate any situation by simply saying "are we about to kiss?"

Feeling really self conscious these days #ACAB #whole30

When did the #GOPDebate turn into the #Oscars?

Eating Japanese candy for breakfast. #kittenbowl

Does anyone know who won Best Dressed at last night's debate? #Trump2016

Please? Somebody?

(Insert culturally relevant #mambaday tweet here)

My pepper spray is locally sourced.

I'm not a diva. I just have a latex allergy.

✌🏻️

Gays are the coolest. #pdxpride

Sadness. #Dallas

Summering on the Clackamas. #yeswayrose

We're in mourning too.

@MayorPDX sorry, Starbucks took FOREVER making my PSL. What's the plan?

This celebrity knows what he's talking about. x.com/iankarmel/stat…

Nike doesn't get electoral votes guys.