I’m guessing people who “love winter” probably don’t have seasonal back acne.

I feel like I can relate with Jesus Christ because after this holiday season my body is now also made of bread.

Dog owners: imagine if you were trying to take a shit while someone who claims to love you was choking you by your neck.

I will like any selfie I see even if it sucks idk I’m just generous in that way

If it wasn’t for Facebook how would I know the birthday of someone I got acid from at a music festival 10 years ago??

Just spent a half hour perfecting a very thoughtful email and I got a response back within minutes that read: “I know... thanks...” well FUCK YOU TOO!

You can fuck me over a million times and I’ll forgive you, but if you unfollow me on instagram you’re dead to me.

I stopped smoking weed and transformed from ‘piece of shit’ to ‘complete asshole.’

I do believe Jesse’s Mullet was a hate crime.

I hate to brag but my Instagram post is doing 95% percent better than my recent posts

Me out of college 5 years later: dk if I’ll ever pay off college. College: Hey jw if we can have some more money to give us for no reason?

Making new friends as an adult is hard because I don’t want them.

I wish I was a dog so I could just lay around all day and people tell me how cute I am

it absolutely sickens me that someone at a graduation ceremony somewhere is calling me a proud alumni without my permission

I want Ashlyn Harris to kick me in the face

If I die don’t delete my Instagram

Me: Drunk. Disheveled. Sprinting to my gate. Vogue Magazine:

If you love Euphoria you love drugs there I said it

Relevant again