Common Jewish Diseases #22: Taanis Breath Zvi Hershcovich

"So the ganev tries to swim away, but the balhabos is aza swimmer like Michael Felts... " -With it Mesivta Rebbi Awkward Bachur

You know the "white sneakers, gray pants, purple shirt, gartel, pot belly, with a ring and chasidishe havara" kav?

R' Zelig is someone's cousin. Think about it. It's weird. Awkward Bachur

*Sitting in lakewood during B"H* *crosses legs* *half hour passes* *uncrosses legs* *laughs at tweet* #SickTimes #SoChilled

*R' Zelig arrives huffing and puffing, lugging a Oz Vehadar Bava Basra on a red Radio Flyer wagon* #Elul Awkward Bachur

*Baruch Kreeper arrives at his dira* *Unloads 400 elal paper cups from all his pockets onto his bed* Awkward Bachur

*The #Menahel sits down to write BS''D on all his papers for the upcoming zman* Awkward Bachur

*Dr. Middos sulking in the back of the auditorium after Uncle Moishy picked someone else to help juggle* Awkward Bachur

*Uncle Moishy wildly riding Clifford the Big Red Dog through the streets of Shushan* Awkward Bachur

*Uncle Moishy gets off the trampoline* *Man with the Yellow Hat jumps into getaway car, two black shoes in hand* Awkward Bachur

*The Goyish Revenge 7* Awkward Bachur

*Big Bird and Uncle Moishy awkwardly collide on the corner of Sesame Street and Torah Avenue* Awkward Bachur

I did. Okay? I let the dog out. So now you know.

Big Moments: Johnny Walker meets Joey Crawler #BigMoments Awkward Bachur

Yankel am Ha'aretz providentially finds himself sitting right next to Chaim Talmid Chacham on the plane Awkward Bachur

"Raboisai! Remember Ferguson!"

Has anyone seen Mike Pence recently?

*Overzealous yungerman chasing cleaning lady out of house with challa knife* *Machasheifa!* *I was only sweeping!* *Out!* Awkward Bachur

Report: Area Red-headed yungerman passes out during V'lamalshinim (AP) Awkward Bachur