Parody Ben Houchen (@parodysimon) 's Twitter Profile
Parody Ben Houchen

@parodysimon

A chance to tell you all about the millions of jobs I’m creating! PARODY

ID: 1348995016237211650

calendar_today12-01-2021 14:07:47

983 Tweet

552 Followers

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"Demonstrate exemplary handling of public money." Talk about raising the bar - Michael Gove was happy so long as I wasn't openly corrupt! gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-…

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Just to clarify, which definition of the word 'corruption' are we going with? It's just that some people would argue wasting taxpayers' money, not following proper tendering processes and then lying about it isn't actually illegal.

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How's a true British Christian patriot meant to get to church, invite the family around for a roast dinner and still find time to protest that things aren't what the use to be?

Parody Ben Houchen (@parodysimon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Getting your country back ...by setting fire to a bin, pushing it at some police officers, falling into it and instantly getting arrested!

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Just when you're popping open the Champagne, along come the BBC to remind you that Teesside Airport's 'profit' is actually a £3,000,000 pre-tax loss! Thankfully every other media outlet just copied and pasted the press release, no questions asked!

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Julie Gillespie earning £170,000 per year is, of course, completely different to Sue Gray earning £170,000 per year. thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/19518635.…

Julie Gillespie earning £170,000 per year is, of course, completely different to Sue Gray earning £170,000 per year.

thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/19518635.…
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Teesworks negotiations going well...Musgrave & Corney just laughed in my face, before composing themselves and suggesting they offered such a poor deal out of love for Teesside and the vast profits, with a near infinite return on investment, hadn't even crossed theirs minds!

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I've suddenly decided bringing back steelmaking to Teesside has nothing to do with me and the ball's entirely in the government's court!

Parody Ben Houchen (@parodysimon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A spokesperson for the supermarket said "yeah, we're not too bothered about employees stealing from us - sorry, I mean hiding stolen stuff. After calling the police we all agreed this required no further disciplinary action and were quite surprised when Steve resigned."

A spokesperson for the supermarket said "yeah, we're not too bothered about employees stealing from us - sorry, I mean hiding stolen stuff. After calling the police we all agreed this required no further disciplinary action and were quite surprised when Steve resigned."