Love Händle is the greatest fashion metal band of all time. Of. All. Time.

I need a haircut. I look like Isabella G. Shapiro on a humid day! #izzysgotthefrizzies

I may live in Danville, but there's nothing like a beautiful sunset over the South China Sea. x.com/AsiaMTI/status…

It looks like Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher are haven't given up their shenanigans even though school is back in session. x.com/washingtonpost…

The more watch, the more I think Heinz Doofenshmirtz is more qualified run this country than the two choices we have. #Debates2016

Ugh, I have to take business to a place called Gimmelshtimp. Has anyone been to Drusselstein before? What should I bring?

World: "Wow, no one could have had a worse polling screw up than the #brexit polls" America: "Hold my beer and watch this" #Elections2016

To friends asking "Aren't you terrified?" the response from (suitably) the Mark Rylance character in Bridge of Spies: "Would it help?"