squirt is only pee when you’re impure of heart

More lube next time plz...

The hardest thing is shutting off that part of your brain that tells you let them back in

I do have a girlfriend she goes to a different Twitter

I’ve been ruined for the ordinary.

if he has a beard he’ll do that thing you like, but if he has grey in his beard i’ll do all the things he likes

Even my ugly friends are better looking than 99% of you.

Having access to all the world's knowledge has somehow made us stupider. Isn't that concerning?

What's going on in the Netherlands?!

Me: so we're breaking up? Her: We are done! Me: Like for real for real? Her: Yes. You're so immature! Me: Damn...from creampie to getting no reply Me: from swallow to no follow Me: from giving me head to left on read Me: from licking my balls to not taking my calls Her: SEE!!!

Pay my bills, astrology bot.

When you're posting memes but not replying to messages....

Me??? Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??? Avoiding my feelings with dark humor??? What??? Really??? No way????

And now for my next trick I will eat this entire bag of grapes and make myself sick.

The things I would do to you if I allowed myself...

I want the hand-holding, butt slapping, forehead kissing, with endless mutual obsession kinda love.